Sunday, November 3, 2013
hello my dear avenues friends,
i want you all to know that you have been kind to me and for that i am thankful. through this blog i have made blogging friends from around the world and have been able to keep in touch with those in the states. you have been able to keep track of my doings and here lately i have been able to show you more of who i am. you sometimes that is hard to do, to show yourself. its a vulnerable place to put yourself in but the benefits of it are very rewarding as well.
i am truly grateful for this blog and my followers and to those who have commented on this blog through out the years. you have helped me to be better and to open my self up more. and through this blog i have realized i have a talent and a gift. one that i want to nurture and make better, this is a gift that i didn't realize i had or the true purpose of it until recently. writing takes practice to create, to allow the flow of creativity as well as finding your voice within to create with. it also takes practice to properly become a better writer and i hope that i can. i also hope that through my writing that i can help someone else because really that is what our gifts are for. to help inspire, to heal, and to encourage those that come in contact with us. and that is my purpose in life and all i really want to be able to do in way that i possibly can. but i can't do that in this space anymore.
this blog started out as a family blog while we were in california. it helped to keep family up to date with everything that we were doing and as we moved back thats what it still did. after awhile i wanted to write more on my own thoughts but i kept myself back from that. sometimes i felt like i should and then i got scared and worried about what others would think and so i didn't. and at times i didn't feel like this was really the proper place to do that at. this blog is also not just attached to my name either and that i didn't think was fair to do.
as many of you may know, those that are family and close friends, mr. c and i are no longer together. it was painful when he left and at times it still is but with pain there is always growth. its there underneath it all for you to take and to learn with and to become better. and i believe that i have through all of this. and i want to share that with you, but i can't in this space any longer. so i have made a whole new blog, i am on a whole new domain and host. i have had it for the last month, been creating it and adding to it. i hope that you will follow me over there but if you don't i will understand.
i am now at mountainsanddeserets.wordpress.com i call it Mountains and Deserts. i thought long and hard about this name and actually had come up with it about a year ago and written it down. deseret plays homage to utah and the mountains is what brought me out here originally. it is also where i am at write now in my life. i want healing, to release and then to renew and that is what symbolically the desert and mountains do for you. the desert draws it out of you and the mountains renew and gives back. this is my healing blog and i hope that there will be something there for you as well that will resonate with in you or possibly to help you to understand those who might be going through the same as i am.
with all my love,
at 8:35 AM
Monday, October 7, 2013
on saturday i went down to salt lake to watch General Conference.
on my way down i talked to a young elder missionary about the priesthood, mediation, and chakras.
and then i listened to talks about meekness and i believe my favorite of the day
a talk that has spoken to my very core to just keep holding on.
and yes i will hold on. because i suppose at the core of it all
this church is good.
and somewhere i want to believe that i belong here
with my eccentric bohemian soul.
but i am still working out my feelings on some talks and
trying to catch up on other talks that i haven't heard yet.
until then i am writing them down and praying about them.
searching it out in my heart and mind.
p.s my heart goes out to my sisters of Ordain Women.
may all have compassion and understanding.
at 9:06 PM
Friday, October 4, 2013
Happy Friday and Conference Weekend!
To any of those mormons who shall be watching.
I will be going tomorrow morning.
I am looking forward to it and have been for well since spring.
I have been praying about it since then, hoping for something.
revitalize my spirit, answers, find out what I am supposed to be doing.
today though I will be cleaning and doing laundry
and working on a new project.
I will let you know about it next week sometime.
but while I am doing that I will be listening to some podcast.
and for your entertainment some instagram pics.
edited of course through picmonkey.com
1. me last wednesday, first fall outfit.
2. yummy cupcakes from Ye Old Cupcake Shoppe
3. A couple books on Meditation for stress relief and healing
4. Charlie put is sweater on for the season
at 11:46 AM
Thursday, October 3, 2013
its fall and it feels like fall
with all of the chilly air, the rainy weather
the days when everything is golden hue
the trees with their oranges and reds
i'm feeling inspired with this weather
i want to write and have a need to write
this is the month that i will write to my hearts content
its all there inside of me, waiting to be let out
and this morning i feel good about it.
its okay and i am at ease
letting go of what i have been holding onto for so long
to finally let my voice be heard
to find my voice
yes this is what i must do for myself
to find peace
to move on
at 8:26 AM
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
over the summer i read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. i have decided that this year is the year for me to find happiness in myself and what truly makes me happy. in the book Gretchen makes her own commandments, lists what makes her happy and gives her pleasure, and her secrets of adulthood or her truths. so here are my lists.
1. Love thy Self
2. Smile Often
3. Be Calm
4. Listen more
5. Be Positive
6. Be aware of your environment and surroundings
7. Be Grateful
8. Enjoy the moment
9. Pray Often
10. Be Serious
11. Be Playful
12. Give Love
What makes me Happy:
1. meeting new people
2. being around friends
7. the Symphony
9. having a clean home
10. laying or standing barefoot on grass
11. writing-journal, blog, letters
12. dancing and singing randomly
13. eating healthy foods
14. getting lost, finding new paths
18. the ocean and beach
Secrets of Adulthood
never talk ill of others
its okay to make mistakes
its better to forgive than hold a grudge
a smile goes a long way
its okay to change your mind
sometimes your not the issue, sometimes you are
you can only make you happy, no one else can or should
everyone has secrets
every has a deep hurt/pain
so any body else made up their own lists and if so what are they?
at 3:02 PM
Thursday, September 26, 2013
one of the reason for the Run Your Trail Off Fundraiser is for awareness. In helping to prevent brain injuries and to make aware to those around how to help someone who does have a brain injury.
so today we will discuss how to help someone having a seizure and what you can do for them and yourself.
- if you are with someone that has begun a seizure please stay calm.
- clear the space around them, make sure that it is nothing that will hurt them.
- remove anything from their persons so as not to cut or choke them.
- gently ease the person onto the ground and if you have a jacket or something soft to put under their head.
- time the seizure, if it is over 5 mins long call 911 or if they appear to have injured themselves or have difficulty breathing after the episode has passed.
- Do Not for any reason put anything in their mouth. They will not swallow their tongue.
- Do Not Hold them down or try to stop their movements.
- while on the ground, turn them over to their side to keep airway open and for post seizure vomiting.
- Do not try CPR during the seizure, only after if they have not begun to breath.
- Do not offer them food or water until they are out of their seizure and they are fully awake.
- and stay with them until they have come fully awake and be reassuring and soothing as you speak with them.
there are many times due to lack of information that when we are with or near someone that is having a seizure that we are unknowingly hurting them more. It is not always easy watching someone being hurt and out of a normal control situation, it is uneasy and at times uncomfortable because we are not always sure how to help. So let us all prepare and train ourselves for any situation that might arise so that we can stay calm and to keep those in danger as safe as we possibly can until proper help can come.
if you would like more information on seizures and how to help someone you can go here to the CDC.gov website and to epilepsy.com.
P.S. Run Your Trail Off is this Saturday! EEKs we are all so excited about this. we are having a D.J.- Tracy Chapman of 101.5 the eagle , CBS national cable network, Keith Cable Paralympic U.S. Medal hopeful, and lots of prizes to win, plus one amazing morning running in the mountains and raising awareness and funds for traumatic brain injury.
at 1:08 PM
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
last year i went into a very deep faith crisis. i lost all hope in my religious practice (church) and in God. I wasn't sure if i could believe in God or not and i wasn't sure that i could stay within my church. i had come across a few things that stung, made me question everything (not just my church but all religion). a part of me died that day as i stood over my kitchen sink trying to keep it together. i said my last prayer standing there that would last 7 months. i felt like i had been betrayed, felt as if my life was one big lie, and felt abandoned again. so that week and the coming weeks i stopped going to church, i took off my religious wear, and went to a beer fest and then tried to retrain my brain from any unhealthy misconceptions about myself.
it was really hard to talk to anyone about this it was always met with the same sunday school lines; read your scriptures, pray, go to church, go to the temple, just have faith. they never helped, the questions i had weren't getting answered due to people not knowing or maybe they had heard but didn't believe and came up with another sunday school answer. i never said anything to family member, especially certain ones, if church was mentioned directly to me i either lied or changed the subject. i was already different and i couldn't add more to the flame.
i felt as if everyone was seeing me as this apostate or would once they new (i would be that family member, of friend that just didn't believe and would be gossiped about in church for not having enough faith and therefore the lesson to all there not to act like that). i don't much care for this word -apostate- it's negative and doesn't let you really see someone as they really are. when you hear it said about someone or group of people its like saying they are bad or evil and thats not true. was i bad person for not going to church? no, i didn't go off telling people not to go or that it's all a lie. no i asked questions, i stated my opinion and how i felt. was i sad, hurt, angry? yes i was, and you know what? its perfectly okay. i might have gotten into a few heated discussion been passionate about it but it was something that i was feeling and going through. i know now that it was something i had to go through. as much as it hurt and as scary as it was for me to think that there was no God, that i felt as if my church was a lie and that there was no real plan for us, that we just happened. i had to go through it because i realized that for myself and who i am i have to believe in a God, to believe in Divinity.
i have gone back to my church, its what i know and what i am used too but i have decided to do it on my own terms and to be more open to other avenues of spirituality. i am going to keep searching and asking about my questions and if something is said and it doesn't feel right to me i won't just obediently agree with it. i don't have to believe it, find it truthful, or do it. i know this may sound strange and wrong to some, but to me it feels like more freedom, more authentic in what we should be doing.
there is so much for us to learn and to gain while here, i don't believe that anything is supposed to be hidden from or kept from us. only we do that to ourselves. this is something that i have been learning and gaining to understand.
"ask, and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you."
"and whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."
3 nephi 18:20